Astrid Engels

Dating comes with a lot of questions; what do I wear, where will we go, who’s going to pay (what a minefield that is). The list is endless and more than a bit exhausting! And all of that even before you start to wonder whether or not to sleep with this someone.

You checked out each others internet dating profiles, thought they seemed interesting, exchanged emails and phone calls; all the preliminary sparks were there. Time for some face time. Thats where it gets fun. And confusing.

Let’s assume you’re one of the fortunate ones and you’ve hooked up with someone who gives you butterflies. The question you’re asking yourself now is “do I sleep with him/her”. If the answer is yes, then the next question is “when?”

Barring any pre-existing concrete rules based on personal convictions (nothing but respect to those, by the way), I present this as an idea: soon is good. Heres why:

Why #1

I think we can all agree that sex is a significant and essential part of a relationship. For me it’s at the top of the list, but that’s another story. Of course we look for many other qualities in our mate, but putting sex at the top of that list doesn’t make you shallow or superficial. It makes you realistic.

Dating someone is much like a job interview. You want to make sure you select the right candidate for the job. And for the job of lifetime partner, being on an even keel sexually speaking is a must. Think of sex early in a relationship as part of the interview process. After all, you don’t want to hire someone who’s not up to the job would you? I thought not.

Collapse the walls

Dating is a really just a series a steps leading towards greater intimacy. Well, thats what it is if everything continues to go right. Our brain works against us in this progression sometimes; we start thinking about what we should and shouldnt give away or we feel insecure based on past experiences and internal hang-ups.

Sex on the other hand, is nature’s way of using our bodies in our favor. Most people want to have sex; we just follow our hormones and go with the flow. Once you’ve decided to have sex, it becomes much more of a physical, rather than a cerebral, act.

I know, I know, youve heard a million times that you should already be comfortable and intimate with someone before you jump in the sack with them. But I find it misguided advice. I can assure you, after someone has seen you naked; its a hell of a lot easier to strip down emotionally with them.

Tradition may cause you to wait a certain length of time before getting in between the sheets. I think you can throw those traditions out the window. Putting sex on the menu early on in a relationship is a great way to get to know someone and determine whether or not you’re compatible. As far as I’m concerned, that’s worth throwing the rulebook out the window for.

This article was developed by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read thousands more helpful dating articles.

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