by Johnnie S Laney

When we first fall in love it’s called the “oceanic love” phase of a relationship. It can also be called the “There’s Only You” phase of love. We spend all our time together, the sex is great, the connection feels rich and joyous.

This is the stage where we think about our new love almost all the time. We just want to be with them, forget work and other obligations. It seems like everything our mate does is lovable or sweet.

In psychology this is called the oceanic love phase, lasting about six months if we’re lucky. During this time it almost doesn’t matter what we do, so long as we get plenty of time together. Our mate makes us feel very loved and special and we return the favor.

This stage is marvelous. We can actually at times feel “merged” and one with our lover. The love seems bigger than us, oceanic at times.

Fortunately and unfortunately, we must move out of this phase before too long. It’s gotta happen. Despite what the movies make us believe, we don’t get to live happily ever after, at least not in that phase. As much as we romanticize it, it is just one stage of relationship.

Yes, the oceanic love stage is completely marvelous. But it can create a big problem for us, because it is going to go away.

So instead of understanding that it is normal not to feel oceanic love so much anymore, we can start to think that something is missing. After this phase passes, lovers can often fight and end the relationship because they think the love is gone.

In actuality, we are just moving into the next phase of love relationships, which is the me/us phase. Here we get back somewhat to our own goals and needs in life. This is important. So don’t make the mistake of comparing your current relationship phase with oceanic love and you can avoid some of the pitfalls couples fall into.

You can get a powerful free 7 day course to build your relationship skills and have the love you want at Intimacy And Love Advice. Johnnie S Laney teaches relationship and emotional intelligence courses and you can learn more about the phases of love relationships here at insights into the stages of love

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