The Relationship Tip

Single Women is a phrase that is used promiscuously. It is tossed around without any clear distinctions among the many different ways in which a woman is single.

The misuse and confusion may cause social, political, and possibly emotional damage, as well as unwarranted bias against singles. Here is a humorous look at what can actually be a serious consequence of the confusion.

Have you ever referred to yourself as “unmarried”? If so, think about this: A negative prefix in front of a word implies a deviation from the norm. Married with “un” in front means you are describing yourself by who you ARE NOT. If we extend this to its logical conclusion, this means you are a “non-man”; if you are short, you are “non-tall.” So, every time you call yourself “unmarried,” you are referring to yourself as who you are not.

But, that’s not all. Even if you eliminate the deficit term “unmarried” from your vocabulary, there is still confusion about who you are because the phrase “single woman” encompasses a variety of circumstances. It refers to women who want to marry for the first time and those who want to remarry.

It refers to those who don’t want to be married at all but wouldn’t mind living with a man in a committed relationship. It includes women who are dating and those who wish they were dating. And those who have no interest in dating, like nuns. And if this isn’t confusing enough, society (and the Census Bureau) consider married and partnered lesbians as single.

I must have been really bored one day when I started counting the multiple ways in which a woman could be “single.” I came up with a number of different categories. There are those women who have never had a marriage certificate, the Always Single.

Then, there are those who did have one but are now divorced or widowed. I’ve already mentioned lesbians and those who have absolutely no interest at all in being with a man, like nuns.

Each of these five categories 5 subcategories; women could have

* Have children

* Not have children

* Be in a committed relationship

* Not be in a committed relationship

* Willing to be in a committed relationship

* Not willing to ever be in a committed relationship

There is also a sixth category. This includes those whom society identifies as single, even if they don’t see themselves that way. For example, Marsha and Louise. Marsha has been living with Lenny for 15 years, yet according to the Census Bureau, she is single. Yet, Louise, who has been separated but never legally divorced from Martin for those same 15 years, is statistically married.

Then, what about age? Certainly, a 20 year old is an entirely different “single” than a 83 year old, even though both may never have had a husband. And, women who have children are a different single than those without; those with young children are different from those with grown children. And, many women who have previously been married grapple with whether they are “divorced” or “single.”

If this isn’t enough, you can have some more fun by figuring out “When did you become single?” If you had once been married, it’s a simpler answer; you can check your divorce papers. Except, if you are Louise, it’s not so simple, since she is not divorced from Martin. Of course, if she’s now living with another man, she actually may consider herself married!

Now, for those who never had the gold ring, when did you become single? Society has no rite of passage for transitioning from adolescence to adulthood. So, did you become single when you turned 13, 16, 21? (In one of the retreats I run for all types of singles, one women said she became single at birth.)

We’re not through yet. Society has no recognized distinction for people moving from being a young single (i.e., late teens) to an adult single (i.e. worrying about the proverbial clock). Yet, we certainly have different expectations for each. If a 17 year old without a husband wanted to adopt a child, people’s reaction would be very different than if a 42 year old wanted to.

By this point, you may be asking: “What difference does all this make?” Well, in some way, it makes no difference. But, on the other hand, it makes a great big difference.

Think how often you or someone you know, or someone on television, or a politician talks about “singles.” Societal values and legal and political policies about singles make sense with some definitions of singles but not with others. For instance, “Singles should be celibate until married.” Would everyone agree the 65 year old Always Single woman should still be celibate?

Or, what about Louise and Marsha. Marsha may be approved for certain insurance and legal benefits that are denied Louise.

So, if you are feeling badly about being single, be sure you know which single you are feeling badly about being!

If you have enjoyed thinking about the definition of being single, you will enjoy this free gift, “The 15 Golden Rules for Being An Emotionally Healthy Single.” Go to http://www.DrKGL.com/rules And, be sure to look at the weekend retreats I run for single women,http://www.UniqueRetreatsForSingleWomen.com

Dr. Karen Gail Lewis, The Woman Who Helps Women And The People They Love

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Getting into being single again after a divorce can sometimes take time, especially dating and meeting new people.

Dating online offers a comfortable way to meet people and start getting out again.

You can connect with others in your area with similar interests and start to plan your social calendar. Once you have started going out, you will actually begin to enjoy your life again.

Online dating offers a world of possibilities for divorcees to connect with other singles. In some cases, when people meet and things work out, the relationship moves very quickly into a marriage.

You may want to move cautiously into a new marriage or even a serious relationship, it is critical that you and your partner are seeking to achieve similar goals.

While dating is formally known as the courtship to marriage, it does not have to really be that.

Dating will enable you to spend time with a wide variety of different people and perhaps connect with one that is very special to you. Whether you want to find your life’s partner or just enjoy going out on dates, it is your choice.

Doing something new for the first time may be a little threatening, the fear of failure is always there. You just have to keep trying and keep moving forward and before you know it, it will become business as usual and you will be very good a doing what you were most afraid of.

Go easy on yourself and allow yourself enough time to master what you are doing.

Establishing goals for yourself is a great way to stay motivated, stay on track and monitor your progress. It is important to keep the goals small at first so you will not get frustrated trying to achieve some of the larger goals.

Even if you can set milestones to meet en route to a larger goal, that is a good way to keep yourself moving forward.

Okay, so you want to find a partner but have not done anything about it. Just take the time and sit down right now, find some online dating sites, set up your profile, and just see what happens.

If you don’t go fishing you cannot possibly expect to catch any fish, so you may be amazed when you actually received some responses from other singles looking to meet people.

Many guys out there are Looking For Women with minimal success, some won’t even try because they fear the rejection, we will tell you how to get past all that on our site!

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As someone who sees herself as a bit “girl power” I resent books like “The Rules” which make those of us over 40 and single feel like failures. Like we never joined the secret “how to get married” club, or rather we never got invited.

So for all those of us who actually like being single and do not need to be married to prove we are in fact really women and not men in drag I dedicate this article. If you are with a man and want to get rid of him and let him think he did it himself, or you are with a man and he is getting a bit too serious, then read on:

It is commonly thought that men run from commitment and so turning up for a date in a wedding dress or meeting his parents and asking “can I call you Mom?” used to be a sure fire way of getting rid of him. However the rise of the “metro sexual” man has put paid to all of that. Men now want to talk about feelings and steal our hair products so we need a new strategy.

If you are dating a man whose beauty regime makes yours look like a slap in the face with a damp towel, then competing with him means buying better products than he does.

Ok so it goes against the grain to spend 20 on moisturiser when you have saddle soap and an old packet of lard in the cupboard, but buy it you must. A cheaper version of this is to find a friend with lots of expensive products and steam off the labels.

Although I suppose if she wasn’t going to notice you steaming the labels off she probably wouldn’t spot you taking them altogether.

Make a big show of using the expensive stuff then pick his up, look at it, and put it back down with a sigh. Look at him at this moment and tell him how lovely his skin looks.

Even if that happens to be true, the seed of doubt will have been sown. No man can compete with a woman whose beauty products are better than his and he will want to trade you in for a woman who wears no make up and wants to bask in his glory.

Men can get very involved in the bits that used to be “just for girls”. Like planning the wedding and looking at catalogues. So if you are dating mature, “planning for the future” man, it’s a good idea to paint a really bad picture of your potential life together.

Conversations about him giving up his football/ beer/friends/family/job will usually make the bravest of them stop and think. Too many times you let them steer the conversation into how much they love you, how lovely it will be to be together all the time, how they don’t need anyone else.

Make them realise that those situations would be non existent and that your time together now is only bearable because of the interruptions from football/beer/friends/family/job. If he is really stubborn (or blinded by love as they like to see it) then make him give up everything else for 2 weeks.

I mean everything. He cannot do a thing unless it is with you. Drive him to work, pick him up afterwards. Go out with him, wait at the gym for him, drink with him and talk to him constantly. Let’s be honest here, would you want to see that much of yourself?

Independent men used to be easily scared off. Being too clingy, especially in front of their friends did the trick with embarrassing ease. These days it isn’t enough. Independent man now wants a clingy woman to endorse his manliness and confirm his desirability in front of his mates.

So the trick here is to be two women. That’s in an emotional sense, not in a scary wearing a wig, pretending to be your own twin way. When alone be very clingy. Want his whole itinerary, ask to see his texts, ring him as long as he’s alone. Talk a lot about “next year” and “the wedding”.

As soon as his mates are there, act like he is invisible. He will be telling his mates how badly you want him and how he is stringing you along. They will laugh at how you discuss wedding plans with him and how you think you’ll be together next year.

Once they can hear, do the opposite. If he mentions plans for next week, smile and say “let’s see how we feel then”. Any mention of weddings and rings, look sadly at him and say “I don’t want to embarrass you in front of your friends, let’s talk when we’re alone”. At this point, look directly at one of his mates and roll your eyes. He’ll be gone in a week.

I thought Neanderthal man was long dead. Not literally of course, I did do history at school and I am aware he’s been gone a while. No I mean the one man type we all recognise even without realising we think men fit into types. This one looks a bit odd.

They have a slightly “missing link” look about them, communicate in grunts and live on beer. Women only exist to them as servants and housekeepers oh and sexual slaves of course. Bizarrely for all their simple behaviour, a lot of women like them.

This seems to be because they have a strong base instinct for protecting their women. They can be spotted in bars as the ones saying “don’t touch/look at/buy a drink for, breathe near MY woman” whilst adopting a stance of readiness for action.

This stance shows itself as having a chest sticking out further than their feet, hands clenching and unclenching and a woman clinging to their arm saying “don’t hit him, he wasn’t doing nothing, he ain’t worth it”.

Getting rid of this one is relatively easy. They want a girl to be a girl. You have to need them. I mean really need them to the point of helplessness. You have to become so weak you cannot open a single jar yourself. Nor can you open doors, lift shopping bags or drive a car.

Strangely though you can lift lots of washing and open any type of beer can with your teeth. So if he comes home to find you have driven to the shops, opened several jars to make dinner including the one he couldn’t open himself and fixed the oil leak on the car, he is history.

If there is any final resistance, add that you have bought him a pink shirt and some facial products and you have enrolled you both into a “getting to know your partner” class and he won’t just leave the house, he’ll move away.

If your man isn’t really a type then try some general tactics. Leaving a copy of “How to Please your Woman in Bed, improve your technique” on the coffee table when friends are coming can help. Crashing his car or if you want more prolonged torture, just driving it really badly will eventually drive him nuts. Selling his car to buy something really girly often finishes a relationship completely. Giving him shopping lists is simple and cheap. One hidden in his wallet so it falls out at the office lunchtime drink works a treat.

I suppose there’s one last thing to try. You could bring back the art of conversation. Just tell him. Men can’t multi task so don’t tell him when he’s washing up, watching tv, shaving or dressing. In fact definitely not when shaving. If any of it did get through he’s likely to slice his face open.

Plan your words carefully. Don’t waffle. Explain that you were really just looking for sex and someone to buy dinner for you and that all your friends are fixed up and you felt left out. Say you don’t want to lose him but that you wanted a man who just popped in occasionally and who fainted at the words commitment and feelings.

If at this point he cries or tries to cut himself with his razor (I told you not to do it when he’s shaving) then put his stuff in a bag and call him a taxi. If though he laughs, says “Thank God for that I can stop pretending” and leaves the washing up half finished (I told you…) then I’d keep him… For EVER!

Relationships are wonderful when everything is going well, but that can take a lot of time and effort. If you are a boomer woman wanting to meet a new man, you must be willing to put in that time and effort or the relationship will not have a chance of surviving to the next stage.

Men and women have very different points of view when it comes to relationships. Men commit to a woman after they have established themselves in their career and feel confident enough to be able to provide for a woman. Women, on the other hand, look for a man who will be a good provider and will complete their life. If this sounds like it should work out perfectly for both men and women, think again.

Once you add in the fact that baby boomers have usually been through at least one marriage or long term relationship, it becomes even more obvious that finding a man to spend the rest of your life with will not be an easy proposition. In order to build a successful relationship, you must start with a solid foundation.

As we get older, it seems like it is much more difficult to meet a man that we share things in common with. This is not true, because all through your fifties and sixties there are almost an equal number of single men as there are single women. But we all get set in our ways, so we are less likely to be flexible when it comes to someone new.

Once you are willing to give freely of yourself and ask the right questions of the new man you have met, you can be on your way to a fulfilling and lasting relationship.

Article by Connie Ragen Green

And now I invite you to find out more about meeting the right man for you by visiting http://www.StartingANewRelationship.com and learn how to find the right man for you for a long term relationship or marriage.

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Picking up women on Facebook is more than a new trend, as it is in fact not really that different than any other form of internet dating. Facebook is a new way to meet people, where you can join dating groups, and possibly hook up. It does take a little more effort to find the women who are available and who are also looking to meet people.

Before you pick up women on the internet, and even with Facebook, you should take the time to open up separate accounts. The separate accounts are used for finding women for dating potential and for regular communication with your friends and family.

Once your webpages are up, you can use your walls for effective communications as well. Getting started with internet dating on Facebook is easier if you use the wall for general messaging and you can use individual messages for more private times.

The Facebook interface enables you to pick up women in several ways. One way is to find groups to join. Groups are useful because they are in essence niche markets for finding people.

There are groups for meeting people and groups that are slanted toward dating. These groups are normally easy to find on Facebook, possibly by posting on your wall. This just shows that it is not necessary to wait for an invitation from someone on your friend listing to find a group to join.

While it isn’t important, it will be quicker to join a group with an invitation sent to you as opposed to just asking to join a group which may take longer and force you to wait for approval.

The reason for the wait is simply for the group adminstrator to make sure you are a real person. If you go without invites, you will find some interesting groups by searching yourself rather than accepting invitations.

Actually picking up women on Facebook is similar to connecting with women on any other forum. There are tried and true principles that you won’t want to dismiss in your communications on Facebook either.

Give yourself a chance and make your profile enticing. When responding to women, treat them with respect and let them take the lead a little bit. Once you have interest, you or the woman who is interested should use general posts first, then you can start using private messaging directed through the Facebook system.

Most women are going to want to establish some sort of trust in any relationship with you. As your relevant group get larger, you will be able to garner that trust and continue your quests through Facebook messaging.

Make sure that you keep things clean, especially before or in order for the women to agree to any sort of contact. Always check the ages of those sending you friend requests, and make sure that you follow relevant laws.

If you are Looking For Women we will show you how to stop looking and start dating today!

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Not surprisingly men don’t agree.

Just turn on your internet radio.

Robert Siciliano, Single Minded Women:

However, in our never ending quest to Find Mr. Right, the one under-discussed, over looked and “it can’t happen to me” aspect of being on the dating scene is your personal security, and that of your children.

In fact, online dating is one way pedophiles find their next victims (through unsuspecting single mothers looking for love and perhaps a male role model for their children).

This is a topic most avoid and few embrace. The very idea of being in the presence of a bad seed and your safety being vulnerable is not something we care to acknowledge.

Megan K. Scott at The Associated Press:

For some guys, unemployment is the last thing they want to reveal to a potential date. Even if men aren’t expected to pay for a date, they feel pressure from women who are looking for someone who is financially stable.

“A lot of men are very careful not to say, ‘I’m unemployed,’” said Pepper Schwartz, chief relationship expert at Perfectmatch.com. “They say, ‘I’m working on this project. I’m taking a sabbatical from work’ or ‘You heard of GM declaring bankruptcy? I worked there.’ They find ways to make it sound like it’s not permanent.”

My question is are unemployed single women going thru the same thing?

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