The Relationship Tip

While peace and harmony in your relationship keeps you motivated and productive, conflict results in endless fights, loneliness, resentment, and mistrust. When you are exposed to intense conflict situations, you suffer emotionally, mentally and physically and elevate your stress level.

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Infidelity is a painful way to break a marriage. Marriage vows promised trust and love. It’s very unfortunate that infidelities breaks those vows and causes hurt and pain.

What is the source of all this pain? Look at the lives of Sue and Joe as they experience the pain of dealing with infidelity.

Joe and Sue grew up next door to one another in the suburbs. In high school they began to date and midway through college Joe ask Sue to marry him. To this union were born three children, two boys and a girl.

Money was sometimes tight as the kids began to grow older so Joe started working late at the office to make ends meet. A few months later Sue noticed that money was just as tight or tighter even though Joe was working very late almost every night. When she mentioned this to Joe, a big fight followed and Joe left.

After a time to cool off, Joe calls Sue and apologizes. During the call, he also admits that the reason there is no extra money is that he has been involved with someone else. He suggests that he and Sue should find a counselor and try to reconcile.

Sue was heartbroken and unsure that she would ever be able to forgive Joe. The person she had known for most of her life was not the man she thought he had been. She had trusted with her deepest secrets had betrayed her and she was deeply hurt.

Most of us would like for this story to end with reconciliation, however most of these stories do not end this way. Infidelity’s pain is not quickly erased. The mistrust often ends in divorce.

Even marriages where couples decide to remain together find very difficult days as emotions sometimes get the best of them. It only take one time for Joe to have some unexplained time and Sue feels doubt. Joe also knows that there is always plan “B.”

Somewhere along the way, friends and families may find out what has happened. They too may feel the hurt and friendships may even be broken.

If divorce ensues, children are often torn between the parents. When one parent relocates to a new city, visitation becomes more limited. Many times they see the parent they do not live with only one or two times yearly at most. Children are pained by the lack of quality time spent with the parent. Parents loose the close contact they once had with their children.

The pain does not end at the judge’s bench however. If Sue is fortunate enough to find a new partner for life, her previous husband’s infidelity marriage can also affect this new relationship. How can she ever trust again.

Joe finds that his income, which was already being stretched thin, is now being split between his new household and that of his former family. He is paying an expensive price for his marital infidelity. He also finds that he has difficulty with trust. It is not that he cannot trust others. Joe has difficulty trusting himself.

While infidelity may be tempting, remember that there is a high pain price to pay because surviving infidelity can be harder. It’s all about marital infidelity.