The Relationship Tip

Cupid may be popular in some circles, but in others, he wouldn’t do much better than Giuliani. Most singles today are content with their solo-status and feel it’s not worth the trouble to look for love.

According to a study conducted by AARP among people 40-70, only 16% are willing to do anything to find love. That’s why Cupid couldn’t garner enough votes to win a primary. It’s seems this icon of romance no longer stands for what the people want.

But wait a minute – is that really true?

AOL just released a survey about love on January 2nd that showed 66% of people 40-49 believe they can have more than one soul mate in a life time and for respondents 50-69, that belief rose to a whopping 72%!

So, if people assume more than one perfect love is possible, how come so few want to take steps to find it? Have boomer singles gotten lazy, disenchanted, or simply dropped romance as a priority because the adult dating game is too confusing?

Regardless of what may hold people back from looking for love, here are four savvy strategies for finding love this Valentine’s season.

1) Get Out There!

Dating has become big business because there are so many adult singles. That means there are lots of ways to meet new people! To increase your chances of finding the right date for you, try a mix of events like dances, speed dating, and meetup.com groups. Look in your local paper, your town’s online calendar, on craigslist.com and meetup.com.

2) Relax and Enjoy

Meeting new people can actually be fun! If you take the pressure off and just enjoy getting to know folks, you will undoubtedly encounter some very interesting prospects. As boomers, you don’t have to worry if a potential partner will be good for raising a family, so you can relax some criteria from your youth that no longer applies.

3) Enlist Your Network

Don’t hide the fact that you’d like to find a relationship – tell your friends and family! You might even share your desire with a few trusted colleagues. Your personal network is one of your best resources for drumming up blind dates, so allow those close to you to help with your search.

4) Smile and Be Friendly

It’s hard to imagine having to dole out this advice, but many people have become far less social. If you find that your guard is up when you are walking out doors or entering a store, you might want to consider starting a new practice. Try smiling at people.

You don’t have to marry anyone you smile at – it’s not a commitment. But showing those pearly whites makes others feel good and that will ripple into lifting your spirits as well. When you smile, you are much more attractive and that’s what you want.

The desire for love and companionship is a basic human need. But romance doesn’t often just happen spontaneously – you’ll have to put a bit of effort in. It’s worth it – none of my happy clients have ever say to me – “Wow all the time I spent looking for my partner was such a waste.” Make finding love a priority today.

Discover the new breakthrough audio program, I Believe: Affirmations to Find Love Now at http://www.NeverTooLate.biz by Ronnie Ann Ryan – The Dating Coach. As a speaker, workshop leader, and author, Ronnie offers proven dating strategies via coaching, online profile writing and review, her book, audio programs, and her blog. She’s been featured on Sally Jesse Raphael Radio, MSN.com and MORE.com as well as TV, radio, and print. Ronnie found love and married over 40 and knows if she could do you, you can too!

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During my career as an astrological consultant, I’ve helped a number of clients get back into the dating game after long layoffs.

You don’t have to know anything about astrology to go through the surprising steps below, although an astrological consultation can help you identify key times when you’re most likely to be successful at finding love again.

Since the process of finding a mate or new relationship is not what most people would expect, I’m sharing these not-so-easy but very successful steps to finding love when you’ve been single for awhile.

Step 1: Wake-up Attraction. The first surprising step on the path to true love is a failed attraction. Suddenly, you turn from Mr. or Ms. Long-Time Single And Not Really Complaining About It into Mr. or Ms. Boomer Has a Hopeless Crush. You meet someone through work, run into an old flame, or develop a yen for a new neighbor.

These attractions are often “in the stars,” although you won’t usually realize this at the time. But the crush comes with an expiration date, an obstacle, a delusion, or some element of futility. Whoever it is that you have a crush on–it just won’t work. Your crush is unavailable, doesn’t reciprocate the feelings, or something else equally heartbreaking.

But that doesn’t mean the crush is stupid or negative. Just the opposite. It’s crucial. It stirs up hormones, revives hopes, awakens the heart, tugs at sensual memories and makes you realize why love and relationships are such wonderful things. It makes you want to establish an exclusive romantic commitment again. These crushes are gifts.

Step 2: Grieving/Clearing. The failed attraction then sets off a period of doubt and self-questioning, loneliness and difficult feelings. The astrology of attraction is replaced by the astrology of confrontation with the self and with the past. Uncomfortable but incredibly valuable emotions and memories come back into consciousness. You find yourself grieving the lack of relationship in your life.

You question the relationship patterns you’ve exhibited thus far. Negative assumptions get dragged up and pushed toward the light. “I’m too old and fat now;” “It’s always been so hard for me to meet people;” “Sometimes I think like there is something really wrong with me;” “I have a great personality but men never seem to go for me.”

This difficult time is also crucial. This is the time when fallacies and fears are confronted and laid to rest; old wounds are grieved and cleared. This is also the time when counseling or a consultation or even talking your feelings out with friends can make all the difference in the world.

This is when you can learn an almost entirely new way of relating. You can learn to stop harboring negative ideas about your lovability, because you are forced to question your own beliefs and patterns.

People often seem to think that they are the only ones who harbor terrible doubts and fears, when in reality they seem to be nearly universal. As long as these thoughts remain below the surface they block relationship; the often painful process of becoming aware of them is the beginning of liberation.

Step 3: Becoming a Butterfly. Nothing motivates like emotional pain, and what it usually motivates is a desire to become attractive again. For women, a key part of the process seems to be reconnecting with girly desires to be beautiful.

A new haircut, a new hair color, new shoes, new underwear, a nice dress, or a pretty piece of jewelry fit the bill. For men, taking action often means getting in touch with their masculinity. Taking action on desire (e.g., by going to gym to get in better shape) often seems to begin a snowball process of other actions that lead to more opportunities to meet and/or date people.

Step 4: Changing Your Routine. Again, a crucial step. When the stars throw your life into disarray, they also open up opportunities for change. Now’s the time to respond to restlessness by doing something you ordinarily would never do.

Join an online community, takes an adult education class in a subject you don’t normally have much interest in, sign up for a sports league, take a vacation with a group, scare the wits out of yourself by going skydiving. Ironically, it is when you do something unlike yourself that you emit a “vibe” that indicates you’re open to connecting with someone new.

Step 5: Finding a New Problem. You might think that getting yourself in shape, getting out and about and engaging in new activities would cause love to fall in your lap. Strangely, instead, it’s right about the time that a new problem crops up in your life that the old one of not having a relationship gets solved.

When a new problem comes along, you no longer have the time or energy to obsess over finding a partner or mate because you have your hands full. The self-consciousness that once dogged you when you thought about dating again goes by the wayside as you deal with your crashed car, your new and challenging job, or your nasty IRS audit. The stars come to your rescue by giving you a distraction to deal with.

And then bam! the last hurdle to a relationship is cleared. Somehow you’re spending a lot of time at the law firm that’s handling your IRS case and somehow it seems natural that you should end up going to dinner with one of the lawyers from another division and somehow it seems natural that you really like each other a lot and…

Love happens when you least expect it. Except that I’ve come to expect it by now. I went through this process; my boyfriend went through this process; my friends have gone through this process and my clients have gone through this process. And I’ll bet that if you keep this article handy then one day, you’ll get your chance to go through it too.

For personalized astrological help navigating the waters of love and relationships, contact Victoria Bazeley via her website Practical Astrology. You’ll also find monthly horoscopes, articles, and links to her blog on the site.

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The dating game can seem intimidating especially if it has been awhile since you have played it. After a divorce, there may be additional considerations that you have not had before in dating – issues of single parenthood and past emotional baggage, to name a couple of examples.

However, dating post divorce doesn’t have to be a confusing minefield of unknowns. Here are 3 tips that will help you feel secure and confident as you move back into the world of dating after a divorce:

1. Take plenty of time for yourself first, to determine what your part in the failure of the marriage was, as well as what happened on the other side. This understanding is not an exercise in laying blame or punishing yourself, but accurately determining what happened so you can heal and be sure you are conscious of any patterns that might repeat themselves in a new relationship.

2. Take good care of yourself physically. This means eating well, focusing on organic, unprocessed foods whenever possible. Take vitamins and supplements as needed, stating with a food based multivitamin and fish oil for most.

A naturopath can provide you with a customized “supplement menu” tailored to your help needs. Exercise regularly – not only will this boost endorphin production and thus your mood, it will improve your overall health and body image.

3. Surround yourself with lots of loving, supportive friends and family members. Make sure you are getting emotional needs met through your relationships with these people, rather than counting on a new relationship to meet your emotional needs.

In addition, filling your social calendar with time with friends will keep you busy and when that prospective date asks you when you’re free, you will truthfully be left to say, “I am available a week from Friday.” Human nature is such that people desire others who are busy, fulfilled, active, and not waiting around for someone to call and sweep them off their feet.

For a free copy of my ebook, “Natural Methods To Fight Depression”, click here:http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

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Lost, vague feeling, and is lonely? So, that you do want to pass into other relation now?

Well, I want so that you think, for long it is persistent before making this, lady, because leaps blindly into the millionaire of the acquaintance of relation not to the end were set right from previous, in essence bad to move.

I know that you probably have a lot of negative feelings now, but going into a relationship only after one train would not be fair for both you and your future sugardaddy rebound.

Going for the rebound stops you from fully thought about things and where you keep your feelings to the former and for your future boyfriend.

In any case, both the men and the women can think that the millionaire of the acquaintance selections can be gripping and dangerous. Well, this is truth.

However, it is also true that the majority of relations rebound make actually not at the end, adding thus pain and pain for both sides. If you are situated in the relations rebound, without thinking about obtaining in one, you must make a step back, and think and to weigh things before you superfluously painful to yourselves and others:

Pro’s:

Now I know that some of you may get a surprise the fact that some of the pros on the rebound dating. There is because there is absolutely nothing in this world that is completely evil or completely good.

Here are some of the pros:

1. It takes your mind off your ex. Rebound millionaire advantage of the first dating relationship, it takes your mind from the pain, previous relationship, because now you have someone new.

2. It keeps the loneliness at bay. Being with someone new will be interesting and “only in relation to” feel is still there.

3. It helps your self-esteem and confidence. Of course, it would be. Now you have someone loves you, and this is a big plus in the self-confidence and self-esteem, because all the departments like to be loved.

Con’s:

And of course, we are against, to have a rebound relationship with your sugardaddy:

1. Emotionally, you yet did not reach. You could not be emotional ready to take for the relations, especially if you arrived from the serious relations. This would be incorrectly, in order to your sugardaddy, that you connected, and also with the unhealthy for you.

Allow oneself time to grieve old relations before passing to other! You can also necessarily estimate, where the previous relations were developed not so, and thus, you can solve it during the new relations.

2. You can reveal that they have nothing in common with your sugardaddy beyond the framework of initial attractiveness. And this does not befit. Attraction is not sufficient not maintain good relations, because you should find the things of the general between you two.

3. Self-confidence and self-esteem do not come from an external source. Please note that the word “I” together these words. It has to come from them, which means that you need to feel it on my own, because nobody can give you that.

Online dating is a hit today. This is already a fact that free dating online is possible, it works, lots of people have found their ideal match, many people got “burnt”.

That is why it is wise to get through these free dating online tips – before you start experiencing the world of dating sites free mania.

Right now we are living in the world where info makes life easier.

Due to this if you are properly armed with the info in your sphere of interest you can be sure that you will in any case find the solution to any bad situation. So, please make sure to track this blog on a regular basis or – the least time consuming way of doing it – sign up to its RSS feed. Thus you will have a direct shortcut to the latest informational updates here. Blogs can be helpful, you just need to understand how to use them.

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Do not walk in the dating game is looking or the love to for life or find someone to satisfy all your needs. You will look as to the method to be introduced to the new friends. If something more greatly it leaves from it, it is good. There are hundred Internet sites of the acquaintances, which are accessible to all through the Internet and much, what attend special groups on the interests.

Accession to the site, which serves the special interests, is one way to make sure that you have something very little in common with those who you meet. It should not cost you a lot of money to start discovering the girls on the Internet. You can do this easily by joining one of the free sites. After dating, follow these simple rules:

• Use the latest picture yourself in your profile. Some people think it is fine to use the photograph, which is 10 years for their photos. You are the best pleasant surprise date, than to see her recoil in horror, as you show look much older and heavier than the photos.

• Never give any personal information, for example, when you work, with the unknown people. You can give your name, but this about it. So far you do not know them.

• Give your mobile phone number when you are going to meet. Be careful with the women who do not give you my phone number – it typically means that they are married or living with someone.

• Meeting in a public place within an hour. Tell her that you only have an hour to kill and will meet them for coffee. Try not to meet in the bar, sometimes as alcohol lowers your inhibitions. Morning at Starbucks is ideal.

• For the second date, somewhere local and meet with them, taking his car.

• Trust your instincts. If something tells you that there is something wrong with the girl, then go from there.

If you start discovering the girls through the Internet, make sure that as soon as you start to see someone on a regular basis, make sure the following:

• The fact that she is not on the Internet site, but not more Scouting around the trade up. A good way to detect “old-timers” on the Internet dating sites is to see how long they were on the spot. If a girl can not find a date within two years, chances are that it is not very serious about finding real relationships, and may have problems;

• Beware of red flags. Some women throw as many red flags that, when you collect them can be put on the plane. If you see a girl always see you in a week in a private place, it is suspicious. Before anyone with a serious, make sure it introduces you to the family.

• What did you continue training before you started dating again?

Your dating sites free guide will explain how the big free dating online world is living in real life. Why making primitive mistakes when this dating sites free info can save you from the problems?

Right now we live in the world where information quickly enhances the quality of our life.

That is why if you are properly armed with the information in your sphere of interest you can be sure that you will in any case find the solution to any bad situation. So, please make sure to track this site on a regular basis or – the easiest way to take care of it – sign up to its RSS. In such an easy way you will have a direct shortcut to the freshest info updates here. Blogging can be helpful, you just need to know how to use them.

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Consider the Universe is a gigantic intention fulfillment machine. When you want a love relationship and you keep getting duds, there’s a mismatch in your beliefs.

Read Post…

And it WILL get stranger and stranger:

Even “My Antonio’’ is a study, of sorts, in the lengths people will go to draw attention to themselves; this isn’t just a parody of dating shows, it’s a parody of love. The women heave their heavy chests. Sabato’s mother appears in a sinister floppy hat to grill contestants on their prospects. And before long, Sabato’s ex-wife has crashed the party, too, announcing she wants him back.

Read the rest of Joanna Weiss’ take but from that scenario, looks like VH1 has another hit on their hands.

Alina Tugend, The New York Times:

I’VE been checking out Internet dating sites recently. No, I’m not in the market (although my husband is a little suspicious of all this “research”). But since many of my friends use them, I was curious. And because everyone is looking to save money these days, I wanted to know if some sites were more effective — and therefore a better investment — than others.

I didn’t know then what a Pandora’s Box I was opening with that question.

Megan K. Scott at The Associated Press:

For some guys, unemployment is the last thing they want to reveal to a potential date. Even if men aren’t expected to pay for a date, they feel pressure from women who are looking for someone who is financially stable.

“A lot of men are very careful not to say, ‘I’m unemployed,’” said Pepper Schwartz, chief relationship expert at Perfectmatch.com. “They say, ‘I’m working on this project. I’m taking a sabbatical from work’ or ‘You heard of GM declaring bankruptcy? I worked there.’ They find ways to make it sound like it’s not permanent.”

My question is are unemployed single women going thru the same thing?

(via)

Related articles by Zemanta

• Out-of-work bachelors struggle in dating game (msnbc.msn.com)
• U.S. new jobless claims down again (thestar.com)
• American jobless rate hits 9.4 per cent in May (ctv.ca)

Nattyb at Unreality Magazine has a video list of some great episodes:

What the hell happened to the days of fun dating shows? You’re on the show for an hour, you ask funny questions and you pick your date. Now it’s a whole damned series like The Bachelor or Bachelorette. Shows are springing up all the time trying to match people with their “soulmates.”

I miss the old days. Simple, short, funny.

Where have you gone Jim Lange?