The Relationship Tip

Maintaining a healthy relationship is vital in one’s life. However, finding a partner has alot to take into consideration and should be done with concern as the partner would probably determine whether one’s relationship turns out to be a healthy or an abusive one.

An abusive partner would not simply make the relationship unhealthy, but in turn would stimulate serious physical and mental harm to the spouse involved.

abusive partners

The characteristics of an abusive partner can be clearly seen through their physical behavior. An abusive partner tends to expose the following traits such as, an uncontrollable temper that is triggered after the slightest event and unhindered jealousy towards the other partner.

An abusive partner is generally possessive of their spouse bringing out the tendency to control and isolate them from social interactions that include both relatives and friends.

Furthermore, he/she will normally exercise control over the total income and relationship decisions. In addition, extreme mood swings is also a frequent sign, where an abusive partner may act as a loving and caring person one minute, and suddenly turns into a brutal and offensive person the next.

abuse partner

Although an abusive partner displays extreme violence, he/she will not claim responsibility for the aggression and will most likely hold the victim accountable for setting it off and causing the disruption.

Verbal abuse is also a representative feature of an abusive partner through which he/she will humiliate the victim often claiming that the victim is mediocre and incapable to perform without him/her.

One of the most significant of the traits is when the abusive partner breaks or hits objects in an attempt to punish or intimidate the other partner into obedience.

Generally, the shattered objects are sentimental value to the vitcim and this act is expected to give a message to the victim that the violence could intensify making the victim the next target.

abusive partner

If one finds oneself in an abusive relationship, it is insistent to act fast. As an abusive partner has the potential to hurt the other ,  one’s safety should be the primary concern.

To leave safely, it is vital to plan before any action is taken. One should find reinforcement from whom one can rely on and receive help with the departure from the relationship.

Counseling services are ideal for guidance and help in leaving the relationship. Your local physician can also offer advice that is necessary for you to stay away from an abusive relationship.

Being attentive to the condition of one’s relationship is key. No relationship is worthif the partners are abusive and physical and mental abuse is intended.

Domestic violence help comes in all shapes and sizes. There is the crisis hotline to get you where you need to go ASAP. Then, there are the community domestic abuse support groups that assure you that “you are not alone.”

Your domestic violence shelter will give you all the resources for your immediate transition from the danger you live to safe housing. They may even have a domestic abuse legal advocate that will help you with your legal matters.

But what about your psychological care, who will tend to that? You can find a counselor or therapist with clinical background in domestic violence. Sometimes you may scratch your head wondering if you know more about domestic abuse than the therapist. Other times, you can hit the jackpot and find the professional healthcare provider that helps you usher yourself out of the darkness into the light.

Do you know the help you will want to secure in your quest to end domestic abuse? Do you know where you will find each piece of the puzzle as you transition from being in an abusive relationship to reclaiming yourself and your life?

Far too often domestic violence survivors don’t really know what they need or where to find it when they need it most. The more homework you do upfront, the better you will be in the long run.

The following is intended to help you inventory your needs and prioritize your securing help in meeting these needs.

1) Create an alliance with your local public abuse services for all immediate needs and steps to protect yourself from imminent danger.

2) Familiarize yourself with your residential options before you jump out of the “nest.”

3) Compile your personal documents and get your finances in order as best as can be done, even though you may not be accustomed to finance management.

4) Secure information and resources to help you obtain any protective orders you believe necessary to minimize conflict and danger by your abusive partner, especially upon and after your departure.

5) Engage a health care provider that is knowledgeable about the psychological, social and legal aspects of domestic abuse to help your navigate from the chaos to closure.

As in any journey, once you get your ducks in a row and line up your resources and soldiers, you will move from point A to point B more successfully. Your planning is key to your designing your exit and the outcome of your departure.

For more information and help in your planning, see Domestic Violence Resources. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse at home and in court. Copyright 2009 http://www.EndDomesticAbuse.org/ebooks.php

Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. – Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention