Lexi S Delane

Upsets and irritations will occur in relationships. Our mate will be rude to us, or yell at us, or be unthoughtful in some ways. It’s gonna happen. If we can’t let it go, then we have a problem.

You know, we keep thinking about how they said that to us, or they didn’t call us to tell us they’d be late, or they snapped at us and didn’t apologize. Things will happen in a committed relationship between two people that are unpleasant. If we keep thinking about and getting upset about it, the damage to the relationship grows.

Thus, forgiveness. It is necessary to keep relationships from spiraling out of love.

But how? How can you forgive when what happens keeps running through your mind? When you still get so upset about it?

One way to forgive is to practice not taking what they did so personally. This will help you to let go of it more readily.

Look. When your mate is rude or thoughtless, if often isn’t about you. It is just a sign that they are stressed or under pressure. Like all of us, they are doing the best they can in the moment.

If you can see that it wasn’t so much about you, then you can let it go more easily. And letting it go is forgiveness. Can you let go? That is the heart of forgiveness. The past happened. You can’t change that they yelled at you. But you can let go of your anger that they did. You can choose how to respond. You can choose how much anger to carry around.

Letting go is a key to forgiveness. If you can’t let go of things, you are the one who will walk around for days after reliving a negative event. You are the one who stays hurt. Forgive, and it heps you, and it helps your relationship.