by Daryl Campbell

Is there a romantic relationship in the air? You have been chatting it up with someone that you are pretty sure really likes you. Now mind you they have not really said anything that you can claim as a definite yes or no. But the vibes are there. After a few more conversations, you decide to make your move.

You pull them aside one day and after some initial greetings ask them if they would like to go out sometime and catch a movie and maybe go out to dinner afterwards. All of a sudden it seems like you were asking a total stranger for a date. They not only look at you funny but declined your offer in the absolute strongest terms without using profanity (oh wait, they did that too). Now every time you see this person they give you the cold shoulder multiplied by ten. In fact you see them whispering to a few people and looking in your direction.

What went wrong? Nothing as far as you are concerned but misreading a person’s body language can lead to some pretty embarrassing situations. It is not just the other person either. You might think you are sending out vibes that say “hello, I’m a nice person and a great date” however to others it may send out a general alarm saying avoid this person at all cost.

Subtle or obvious, there is no really hard and fast rule when it comes to body language because each individual is different. In fact you maybe missing out on someone who wants to go out with you but you are not doing a good job on reading their body language. Again nothing is set in stone but learning to read certain signs can be a good indicator.

1. Closer than Close

When you are talking to someone that you think you are hitting it off with, how close are they standing to you? Now as was illustrated in an episode of Seinfeld they maybe nothing more than close talkers but in many instances, their location is in direct correlation to their interest in you. As a general rule, if they are standing an arms’ length or more away from you, then they are probably not interested romantically. An arms length or more makes people a little more secure interacting with someone they do not feel comfortable with.

On the flip side if they are less than an arm’s length is a good indicator that they feel good about you. You maybe talking to the person and as you make a point touch them on their arm or shoulder. If they stay within arms length or move slightly closer, than you can pretty much tell they have some interest in you.

2. The Eyes Have It

You may have heard the old saying, “the eyes are a window to the soul.” They are also a great way to read whether romance is in the air. There is of course a tendency to look directly at a person when you are interested. Do they do the same? If yes, also check out how often they blink. This is not to say you should stand there counting their blinks but doing it more than normal could indicate that they are attracted to you.

Conversely refusing to make eye contact may be a good indicator that they have no interest, however take this with a grain of salt. The other person may like you but might not feel confident enough to come right out and tell you. If they are looking away but seem to be comfortable standing within an arm’s length, than you may want to pursue your attempt to make a connection. Be subtle and move cautiously.

There are many other indicators you can use to determine if the other person has an interest in you but standing in your space (comfortably) and the eyes are always good signposts to go by. Verbally expressing feelings is not easy for many people but that does not mean they have no interest in you. More than anything it means you must always stay alert to picking up the body language signals that indicate there is a potential connection in the making.

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