by Daryl Campbell

Your posse has told you the same thing over and over. They care for you very much but frankly at this stage they are pretty sick of you and in all honesty can you blame them?

You have also gone over the same ground with your co workers. You may think you are being clever when you speak of your ex relationship in generalities but they have figured out early on what was up. It’s getting so they can’t stand you either.

What about family. Frankly it’s gotten to the point where they either duck your phone calls or duck behind the couch when you ring their bell.

Yes, they love you and they want to continue doing so but if they have to hear one more time about you and your ex they are going to talk to a judge and see if they can get a restraining order or disown you as a relative; maybe both.

For people watching someone they care about carry the torch for a relationship that expired many moons ago can be a combination of frustrating, hilarious, tiresome and eventually just plain annoying. Let’s face it; this longing for your ex is not doing you that much good either.

So what’s the solution? Get on with your life.

The Lamentation Day

If you have to, then set a day aside to pay tribute to your ex. Visit all the old haunts, sit at home and get emotional about all the things you used to do.

If the two of you had favorite songs then put them on and play it ad nauseum. Raise a toast to your ex and the now defunct relationship.

Understand you are not doing this to keep the torch burning but to extinguish it for good. Think of this as purging. If it takes you a couple of days then fine.

After that it is over. You celebrated what once was but now that you have gotten it out your system it’s time to move on. Do not turn this into a ritual and make sure it does not go on for more than a couple of days.

The Ease In

Maybe your friends have been trying to invite you out so as to meet someone new. Maybe they just want to hang out with you. If they are still speaking you then start taking them up on some of these offers. Yes they may try to hook you up with someone.

If you are not ready then you can politely decline but get back into the social scene. Who knows? By hanging out with them you may meet someone on your own.

Reaffirm Your Worth

Too many times there is a tendency for people to wrap themselves up in a relationship to a point that when it ends so much of their esteem and self respect get trapped inside.

That should never be the case. You were someone special before you knew your ex and you are still special long after the relationship has ended. Remember that and if you have to stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself that daily then do it. Pretty soon you will start to believe it.

No one is responsible for your happiness but you. If things don’t work out in a relationship then naturally you are going to feel bad for a little bit.

But letting your emotions and intimate relationships come to a standstill because your ex was just “too wonderful” is not going to bring them back into your life. So the best thing you can do is get on with yours.

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