by Daryl Campbell

As much as we would like success in all phases of our lives, reality says different. The big promotion at work that you know belongs to you is handed to someone else. Then you get called into the office only to be told the company is laying you off.

It stinks but that’s life. Online dating can follow a similar pattern. You and you dating partner are having some great chats. It’s only a matter of time before the two of you hook up for that first offline date. But just as the excitement and anticipation are building, the relationship ends. Was it your fault? You don’t know because you never got an explanation. All you know is that the communication is over.

That’s how it goes sometimes but in other instances the failure to make the online relationship work was shattered by nothing more than good old fashion self sabotage.

The ability to get in your own way is an amazing thing in a sad sort of way. You tell yourself that whatever you set out to achieve will be accomplished and nothing will stand in your way. Yet all the while there are things you are doing which take you further and further away from the goal.

You may not have done anything on purpose to jeopardize the connection but whether you did or didn’t is irrelevant. The issue is any or all these things can put the kibosh on your on line dating relationship

1. The History of You

You tell your cyber date a little about yourself. Then a little more before you know it the conversations for the most part are all about you. When your cyber date does mention something about themselves you brilliantly manage to steer it back toward your life story. Doing that tells the other person you are probably into conversation domination, self centered and potentially a control freak. None of this may be true however refusing to yield the floor and show interest in the other person can leave a lasting impression.

2. Mendacious

You wrote something on your profile which was slightly exaggerated. You didn’t mean anything by it; you just wanted to boost your standing a little. Besides it was such a small item that no one will pay attention to it.

No one except your dating partner, who by the way is very good when it comes to noticing the minor details. They mention your exaggeration in passing. Truthfully you forgot all about it and give a somewhat different response. Now you are in trouble. That’s one thing about lying; you have to remember each one and stay consistent in the way you tell it.

3. Right Now If Not Sooner

Looks like things are really escalating. You ask your date out but they tell you that it’s only been a short period of time. Instead of accepting that answer, you start really laying it on: how much time do we need; you like me don’t you? I like you and we are really hitting it off. Once more they decline. The next time the two of you chat, you start the cycle all over again. This is a red flag for many people. They tell themselves since it has been a short period of time why the rush? Better safe than sorry for many of them so they end all communication with you.

Some people can try online dating once and have great success. Others have to work at it for longer then they care to. Nothing in this world is promised to us but if you want to increase the odds that on line dating never works for you than follow the steps above.

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