by Daryl Campbell

One of the major benefits of online dating is the ability to remain anonymous. As we all know there is something about an air of mystery that excites many of us. The less a person reveals about themselves, the more we want to know about them. That is human nature and its something online dating exploits quite effectively. Being anonymous also seems to liberate many of us. People become less inhibited about sharing their inner thoughts online with people they really don’t know.

And that brings us to the flip side of being anonymous online; the power to deceive. Whether it’s exaggerating a dating profile or putting up a fake picture, online dating comes with built in pitfalls. Even if you are with a dating service that does a great job of screening prospective suitors, there is no one hundred percent guarantee. Many people that lie are quite good at it and being anonymous only sharpens their skills.

Are you being misled? Here are some ways you can find out.

1. Good Answer. Maybe Too Good.

They like the same things you do. In fact they like everything you like. This should get your antenna working. Why? For the simple reason there is no such thing as one hundred percent compatibility. It does not exist in the offline world so do not expect it online just because you have more would-be dating partners to choose from.

Of course the other person could be doing this for a number of reasons. They may really want you to like them, so they figure telling you what you want to hear is the best way to do this. They maybe unthrilled by their own life’s history, so avoid any mention of their likes and dislikes. Or it could be something more sinister. You don’t know so be on guard.

2. That’s Not What You Said the Last Time

Your date tells you about the time they saved those ten kids in an apartment house fire (”maybe you read about it”). The next time it’s twelve. Or they tell you the reason they broke up with their ex is because of family disapproval. The next time you discuss it the reason has changed to mutual consent. Why the discrepancies? Exactly what are they trying to hide? If they continue to change the stories or become quite defensive when you point out the inconsistencies, then watch out.

3. You Got a Feeling

The answers the other person gives are to your liking. The stories are consistent and seem to check out But your heart still says avoid them like the plague. What do you do? Go with your instinct. There is no logical rhyme or reason when it comes to instinct but in more cases than not, it has been known to steer many of us away from potentially disastrous situations. Your instincts maybe able to pick up things that are not so obvious.

The power of being anonymous has been taken to a new level with online dating but that does not give someone the right to deceive. If the other person’s answers seem too good, too inconsistent or your intuition is telling you no, then it’s best to avoid them. You are online to have fun and develop a relationship. Lying is not part of the equation.

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