Astrid Engels

When a relationship is new, we normally talk about the good things about our partner. Whether you met them internet dating or in some other form, when love is new we can never say enough about the person we care about.

We go on so much about them that we drive our closest friends crazy with a little bit too much information.

Wouldn’t it be great if things could remain that way? Well we all know that things change. Some good changes happen and some bag changes happen.

Let’s fast forward six months or even a year. Notice any changes? Chances are an outside observer wouldn’t even know we’re talking about the same person.

What happened to all those wonder qualities we used to rant and rave about? They’ve turned into complaints; and our friends are rapidly becoming as tired of them as they did about the good things.

Of course in many relationships, something disappointing will happen. People will hurt you and there are days one or both of you may want to walk out of the relationship, but how about changing it around and making a point of saying the good things as well as the complaints about them?

Balance in life is truly important. It is important to be able to vent to someone about things and event tell them when you are mad at them, but it is also important to say good things about someone as well.

Too much either way may not be healthy for the relationship and may create an imbalance for growth. The wrong balance would allow you to lose them as well.

When talking to your friends about your partner it’s important to know when to share and how much to share. Once it’s been said, it can’t be unsaid, so before you decide to share, take a moment and think about what’s really bothering you.

Thinking before speaking accomplishes two things. One, it provides insight about your situation and allows you to get to the heart of the matter. Trust your instincts. Second, after you’ve thought about it and you’re still feeling unsettled, then you can make the decision to talk to someone.

Remember though to balance the positive and the complaints. Every side has two stories and giving the person that’s listening a balanced view of things allows them to give you informed advice.

You never know, they might even be able to point out some positives that you overlooked. After all, you started dating this person for a reason right?