by Casey Evens

Your fighting constantly now. The silences seem to get longer and quieter so much that it is almost deafening. You never touch one another even when you sleep in the same bed every night. Your relationship has taken a turn for the worst and you both know it. Now is the time to figure out how to save your marriage before it turns into a divorce.

That your willing to do what ever it takes to save you marriage is a very good sign. Everything worth doing takes work but there are ways to save your relationship.

1. Spend time remembering what drew you together in the first place. Did you fall in love with her quirky sense of humor? Did he drive you wild in his football jersey? What exactly attracted you to one another? Find something from your mutual past and use it to reconnect with your partner.

If her sense of humor was what attracted you then go to a comedy show. Find his old football jersey and have him wear it. Even if you have to put on a pretense that you are the same people that you once were for a few minutes, try to feel the love you had in the beginning. The love still exists in you it has just been buried under the stress of everyday life. Let them float back to the surface.

2. Touch each other just to touch. Often when we are mad, have hurt feelings or feel sad, we close into ourselves. We no longer reach out to the people we love and that will make them have hurt feelings, anger and sadness. Reach out and touch your wife’s hair. Rest your hand on your husbands arm. Lightly touch each other as you are walking past. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you are touching.

3. Kiss each other. Kissing is not the same as touching. Touching someone can be taken as accidental but when you kiss someone there is no doubt that it was meant. Cup your husbands face in your hands, stare him in the eyes and slowly and lightly kiss him. Passion can swiftly melt away anger.

4. Get a change of view. When your angry with someone staring at the same four walls can seem like a prison sentence. Go spend the weekend somewhere other then home even if it is just in the local hotel. The change of pace might do you very good. It will help you relax and make it easier to discuss what the problem really is. Who knows, you just might find that the problem wasn’t as big as you thought it was.

5. Act like you are strangers. Have you ever noticed that we treat perfect strangers with more dignity and respect than we do our loved ones? Our manners in general public can be exquisite while at home we turn into Penny and Paulie Pig, grunting and squealing at our spouses. Doesn’t sound fair, does it? Try to be more polite while at home and see if that changes things. Ask sweetly for something and include a “please.” Say thank you for tasks completed, no matter how small. Give and receive compliments graciously. Act like you really do like this person.

It can be hard to save your marriage but well worth it. Just remember that every little change you make will put you one step closer to having the marriage that you lost.

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