Daryl Campbell

You never considered it a bad thing; primarily because you never meant it as a bad thing. You have known quite a few people who do it. Some of the people in your social circle have the same habit.

No big deal as far as you are concerned. It’s not like you have ever gone overboard with it (as far as you know). No one has ever complained about it. Sure some of your friends have kidded you but none of them has ever been critical. They know that it is just the way you are.

But the person you are going out with for the first time does not really know you and vice versa. That is why you must be on your guard to avoid the touching bug.

To you it is just the way that you express yourself. You start talking and might emphasize your point by touching the other person on the arm or shoulder. Someone says something to make you laugh and you give them a little tap. Or they tell you something terrible going on in their life and you touch them as a way of conveying sympathy. They appreciate it.

But your date may not. Touching them has a potential of sending the wrong signals. They may take it as a form of aggression believing you are violating their space or you are creepy.

Now none of this is true and it is in no way your intent to make them feel uncomfortable. Yet touching someone you still do not know can come off just that way.

That is why on your first date you should try to avoid that kind of incidental contact. If necessary you may have to practice a little bit. Have a test date with someone or just keep affirming to yourself that you are not going to do it.

Explaining to your date that is how you communicate can be a good approach but that does not mean they will be any more receptive to it. In other words unless it is clearly understood by both parties make sure you respect the other person’s space.

There is enough stress on a first date with meeting and trying to get to know each other without adding something which could possibly make the situation more tense than it should be.

Men and women have been making these mistakes for years.