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In dealing with infidelity there are some hard truths that you have to accept. Number one is the person who you exchanged vows with is not holding up their part of the contract. Another is they have created an environment in which you may never be able to fully trust them again.
Dealing with infidelity has a way of changing the dynamic of any relationship in the most negative way possible.
You did not want to go there so you did everything possible to prove that your distrust was wrong. Why? Because you love your spouse that much even as you go thru dealing with infidelity you still care for them.
So what’s the next move? Right now the decision is in your hands. You still have not confronted your spouse about what you actually know. They on the other hand are feeling good about their ability to hide the affair.
Whether you want to get a divorce is still a decision that is very much up in the air. Indeed you have not really gotten that far. in dealing with
However dealing with infidelity has gotten you to at least one point and that is you have a strong urge to confront not only your spouse but the person they are cheating with. That’s your right of course but go slow and mull over a few things first.
1. Control
Easier said than done right? You have every justification to be angry but try to remain calm when you have the face to face encounter. Your spouse and the other person are calculating that if you do find out (they still don’t know that you know) that you will be an emotional basket case. Don’t give them what they expect throw them off balance by staying in control of the situation as well as your emotions.
2. Their Response
This is one of those heavy gray areas when dealing with infidelity. Their reaction can range anywhere from fear to resentment. You expect the fear but what’s up with the anger? It all comes down to you finding out something you were not supposed to find out. From their perspective it’s almost like saying how dare you? Their response can hurt you even worst than you feel or trigger a severe reaction which you want to avoid in every way shape and form.
To learn more about how to survive an affair please visit Getting Over An Affair.