Dating Advice - Three Questions You Should Never Ask Your Date
by Daryl Campbell
You have planned everything out but still left room for spontaneity. You showed up promptly and well groomed. You also made a mental note of some current events so you are also well prepared to carry on a good conversation. Now all that is left is to relax, have a good time and steer clear of asking your date one or more of the following questions.
1. What Do You Think of Me?
If you have ever seen any of those reality based dating shows, this one question has brought many a date to a screeching halt. It seems to create an atmosphere of awkwardness. If the person says they like you, that is fine but they will probably wonder why you asked that question. If they say they do not like you, then what are you going to do about it? You might feel pressured to try and “fix” the problem which will only cause anxiety for both of you. The point is you do not want to get into analyzing yourself or the date while the date is STILL going on.
Just let the other person tell you without being prompted. Better still let observation and your instincts tell you. See if you can make any course corrections without being obvious. If something happens that is out of your control so be it. You are not perfect, so do not stress yourself. In those cases it is best to have a good sense of humor as back up.
2. Why Are You Quiet?
There is a tendency for many of us to feel we have to fill up every empty dating space. There is no room for silence and reflection. Wrong. If you two are taking in a beautiful scenic view then you do not necessarily have to be chattering away. Sometimes even within a date, people need a breather to get their thoughts together. That is okay. If it goes on for a period of time that you are not comfortable with then startup the conversation by using some of those current event tidbits that you brought with you. If it is a good kind of quiet, then do not be afraid to share in it with your date. Smiling, looking into each other’s eyes and holding hands would be an example of good quiet.
3. Did I Do Something Wrong?
If you have to choose one question out of the three to avoid asking, this is the one. It screams to your date that you have a lack of confidence with a healthy dose of self pity. If your date has not accused you of anything and nothing out of the ordinary has occurred than why on earth would you ask a question that implies you are guilty of something? One of the main keys to enjoying your date is the ability to focus on the other person. Asking your date if you did anything wrong means your self conscious police are working overtime. If something occurs during the date which is your fault then apologize and move on.
No date is going to be one hundred percent guaranteed perfect so do yourself a favor and do not put any undue pressure on you or your date by asking any of the questions mentioned above. Just leave your self consciousness at home, relax, and enjoy each other’s company
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