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Feb 20

Young husband’s cheating is agony for wife

By DerBingleNo Comments

From The Reporter:

I’m 21. My husband is 19. He has cheated on me several times, once since we’ve been married, and I’m scared he is doing it again. It’s always with the same girl, an ex-girlfriend who lives out of town.

When we found out I was pregnant he messaged her on Facebook saying he missed her and hoped our baby (now seven months old) wasn’t his.

Two months ago, I saw on his Facebook that he is messaging her again. I am so upset. He says he’s not cheating anymore but how do I know that? I’m a stay-at-home mom and he works out of town a lot.

How do I tell if he’s cheating and what should I do if he is? — Marie, South Carolina

For one there has to be a certain type of monitoring system put in place so that she can know what he’s up to.

Two if he has a history of cheating and is doing this so early into their marriage the odds are it spells trouble for a long time to come. It doesn’t have to of course but it’s very likely if they don’t get a handle on things right now.

Feb 19

Sites that cater to ‘discreet’ encounters thriving

By DerBingleNo Comments

From USA Today:

infidelity,ashley madisonHusbands and wives take note: If Valentine’s Day expectations aren’t met, your mate might soon be looking elsewhere for a little romance and appreciation.

That may sound like a cautionary tale, but for Noel Biderman and others who have founded dating websites for married people, it’s a lucrative business.

“The day after Valentine’s Day is one of our biggest days of the year,” says Biderman, founder and CEO of Ashley Madison, a 10-year-old site that unapologetically caters to “discreet” encounters for the married or otherwise attached. “People are disappointed by their spouses’ lack of effort, and they feel especially undervalued when there is a societal expectation of romance. Certain days of the year act as litmus tests for many people in relationships.”

He says his site actually saves marriages. Biderman knows of course this is pure grade-A crapola but when you’re making a lot of money sometimes you’ll say and do anything to justify it.

Feb 19

Forgiving an Unforgivable Betrayal

By DerBingleNo Comments

From Psychcentral:

infidelity,bipolarI’ve never been proud of what I did. I have come to terms with it now and so has my husband. We are okay. I am surprised by the amount of views that post still gets so many months after publishing it. I am finding that men and women who suffer with bipolar also suffer with identity problems which ultimately leads to either short or long term affairs.

Feb 15

5 Tips to Infidelity-Proof Your Relationship

By DerBingleNo Comments

Outstanding article by Wendy Strgar @ Care2:

relationship, infidelity, tips, infidelity proofWe are not a happy sexual bunch. According to a recent CNN poll, nearly 40 million Americans are stuck in a sexual rut, and more than 52 percent of us are dissatisfied with our love lives.

A neglected, unhealthy sex life makes relationships more vulnerable to anger and resentment and is often cited as the primary motivation for infidelity. Unfortunately, you can’t really cure an unhealthy sex life without curing the aspects of the relationship that lead you to avoiding intimacy.

I know from the thousands of people I have spoken to over the years, that a malfunctioning sex life is the result of malfunctioning relating and almost never the other way around.

These are very good tips. It’s not the usual spruce up your romance advice but really gets into the core of connectivity.

Feb 15

Indonesia lets women access husbands’ salaries to curb adultery

By DerBingle1 Comment

Infidelity in Indonesia like just about everywhere else is not new and can be very problematic among government officials. I don’t know how much this will change but at least women have a new resource on their side:

finance, adultery, indonesiaWomen married to government employees in northern Indonesia will now be allowed direct access to their husbands’ salaries. An official told BBC Newsthat the purpose of the law is to prevent men from cheating on their wives.

Women in Indonesia had previously complained that their husbands only gave them enough money to purchase meals each day, the BBC reported. The women attributed the lack of financial transparency to their husbands being unfaithful.

Feb 12

Slanderer’ Arrested for Zumi Zola Adultery Accusation

By DerBingleNo Comments

I guess the police in Jakarta would have let him go for the slander part. It was the second act that got Mr Djemat thrown in the hoosegow:

accuse, adultery, jakarta, assaultThe South Jakarta Police arrested a man late on Tuesday for slander and assault after he accused actor-turned-district head Zumi Zola of having an affair with his wife.

Bernaldi “Aldi” Djemat had reported Zumi, the district head of East Tanjung Jabung in Jambi, for adultery and sending “dirty” text messages to his wife, Peni Fernita Saputri.

Apparently there’s a history here.

 

Feb 12

Working Through Stages Can Mend Betrayal

By DerBingleNo Comments

From Knoxnews:

betrayal, infidelity, healingUniversity of Tennessee psychologist Kristina Gordon has made a study of unfaithfulness in marriage and has found a three-step way couples can survive an instance of infidelity and keep their marriage intact.

Gordon, an associate professor of psychology and an administrator in the University of Tennessee’s clinical psychology program, likens such betrayals to a trauma that injures a pair’s “couple-ness,” and she has created a counseling process that can help them come to terms with an extramarital affair and move from betrayal to forgiveness.

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