Has something recently gone wrong in your marriage, causing one or both of you to lose faith slightly? Often, the key to resolving these types of issues is good communication.

The typical scenario many couples face goes something like this: you were both going about your lives and enjoying your relationship, when you started to notice that things between you were not quite the same as they used to be. Communication started to break down and things got off track. Never fear – it is possible to learn good communication skills to improve your marriage and rekindle your love.

Here are 4 concepts in clear communication within a marriage that can help you both dig yourselves out of your communication hole:

1 – Letting Go of the Need to be Right

Start by asking yourself these four questions:

- Are the issues that led to your communication breakdown really important enough to warrant such a rift in your relationship?

- Are the root causes of your recent problems even worth arguing about?

- By taking the particular stand or position that you have taken regarding these issues, do you really come out ahead in terms of your overall life goals and happiness?

- Could the potential outcome of this underlying issue substantially affect your life plans together in terms of finances, your sex life, your children, your home, or other potentially major aspect of your life?

If you answered “no” to any of these questions, the wisest thing to do at this point may be to drop the issue entirely so that you can both focus on getting to the heart of your communication issues.

Many communication issues can be avoided if one or both of you can manage to take a softer stance on the issues that affect you most. Believe it or not, most argument are completely unnecessary and could be overcome if both of you could agree that it is more important to be loved than to be right.

2 – Avoid Playing into What You Think Your Partner Wants

The next key communication concept is that of worrying less about how your spouse is perceiving you or how they expect you to act. It does not make sense to work too hard at trying to be someone you are not.

If you do, you will end up wasting your energy and you will not able to keep up your false appearances for long. It is important let go of your concerns about how he or she sees you so that you can just be yourself. You will please your husband or wife the most when you are comfortable in your own skin and are being your true self.

3 – Give Yourself the Space You Need

At times when you are feeling frustrated about your relationship or are feeling disrespected by your mate, it is important to give yourself the space you need. While the importance of doing so may not be immediately obvious, it is an important step in learning how to repair your relationship.

Whenever you feel like communication has broken down between you and your spouse, remove yourself from the situation in order to get your bearings. When you feel calmer and more relaxed, you will both be able to work from a position of strength.

4 – Take an Unbiased Approach When Analyzing Your Communication Issues

Once you have cleared your head and found your space, it is time to coolly and calmly analyze your communication issues. Once you and your spouse have had the chance to get some distance from the situation, it is important that you both try to focus on the issues at hand rather than the raw emotion that may be getting in the way of clear communication. Avoid blame words and focus instead on your feelings.

These are just some of the concepts in clear communication within a marriage that I have come across after trying everything from self-help books to therapy to good old trial-and-error.

I did not come up with these concepts myself, but I have used them to great success in my relationship. What helped the most was finding some real relationship gurus who have turned fixing communication and rekindling marital love into a true science.

Author: Robbie T. James

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