When a relationship breaks up it is very common for one of the partners to realize that the feelings they had were much deeper than they realized and that they would be prepared to do just about anything to get back together again.

This can of course be difficult if certain things were said during the break up or if the relationship ended badly. It’s quite possible your ex will have cut off all communication with you and stopped going to the places you both frequented, just to avoid you.

If they don’t want anything to do with you it’s very difficult to get communication going again, and you may even have to allow them their cooling off period to show that you respect their wishes for time apart.

But after you have given them a little space, you need to be able to let them know that you still care deeply for them and want to give things another go. How you go about getting them from not talking to you, to establishing communication is a delicate matter.

The simplest way is to simply call and ask them if there’s a time you can catch up. If they are not talking to you at all you can expect a pretty chilly response to that.

So bear that in mind, and be prepared to approach them with a peace offering. You could start by saying you have a few things you feel you need to apologize for and ask if they would mind meeting for lunch.

If the direct approach fails you can employ a go-between. Be careful with this, because it can totally suck when you are caught between two ex-friends. You need to find a friend that both you and your partner trust, and you need to tell them how much you would like to get back together and how sincere you are.

Ask them if they would mind having a quiet chat with your ex and seeing if there is any way you can make up your former mistakes. And leave it at that.

Don’t bug your friend, don’t expect a call the next day and don’t be offended if they say they don’t want to get involved (in fact, you should make sure they understand they are under no obligation to get involved – you are asking a big favor here).

You need to be completely honest about the fact your goal is to get back together. Don’t try and play it cool – the time for that is passed.

If that fails, write your thoughts down in a letter. Stay sincere and don’t let your letter get long winded. When it is done let it sit for 24 hours then read over it again and make sure it says exactly what you want it to. The thing with a letter is making sure it gets to the right person and gets opened.

Hand deliver it, acknowledge any mistakes you may have made and any hurt you may have caused. Apologize and ask them to read the letter and let you know if there’s any way you can make it up to them.

When you are trying to re-establish contact with someone where a relationship has ended badly you have to be sincere and open yourself up for a rejection.

Don’t constantly pester them, but rather give them some space and let them know you will be ready for them whenever they are prepared to give things another shot.